E! Television. Okay, first the Anna Nicole Smith Show... Bobby Trendy is a total scam artist. The thing that I think is so funny is how bad the show is making him look. You know that when they originally approached him, he jumped at the chance, thinking that the national exposure would catapult his business from mediocrity (at best) to something special. Now everyone just thinks he's an idiot. Another thing... The only thing more ridiculous than Animal Psychologists are the people who hire them.


Second... E!'s top 25 sexiest women. I don't have the time or inclination to go over their ridiculous choices, but I would like to say a couple of things. When they throw in teeny-bopper brats like Brittney Spears, and Reese Witherspoon, they lose any sliver of credibility that someone might have thought that they had in the first place. I know that beauty, and sexiness, and all that crap is in the eye of the beholder, but puh-leeze! Of course anyone who's going to bash someone else's list has to provide one of their own. So here's how I categorize, and rank some women...

SHEER SEX APPEAL: There never was nor ever will be anyone like Sophia Loren, the only woman that even came close is Raquel Welch.

CUTE: The top of the list has to be Audrey Hepburn. A very very close second is Olivia Newton John... What? Oh, brother... go watch Grease again, and then we'll talk. And I would probably say that Michelle Pfeiffer and Sandra Bullock also fall into this category.

CLASSIC BEAUTY: I would probably put Isabella Rosellini and Grace Kelly high on the list, along with Sela Ward (before you argue with this choice, forget the cheesy sprint commercials and watch the first 10 minutes of The Fugitive... she's the wife that gets killed), also, Elizabeth Taylor in her Cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof days.

POP-CULTURE DIVA: (do I really have to spell it out) Marilyn Monroe. She puts all the little teeny-boppers of today to shame! Oh what, you're not convinced? Three names... Arthur Miller, Joe DiMaggio, JFK, thank you very much.

But let's get down to the really interesting category...

OVERALL: I've always been a FIRM believer that looks AND brains make a woman sexy... So I start thinking about women like Jodie Foster (yeah yeah, I know she's gay, but that just means that men AND women want to sleep with her) although I think she's a bit mousy looking I have to admit that her intellect would probably overide her little flaws... But probably on the top of the list would be Jennifer Connelly (cute in the Rocketeer, steaming hot in The Hot Spot, loveable and believable in A Beautiful Mind, pathetic and hopeless in Requiem For A Dream) this woman speaks Italian and French, is interested in Quantum Physics and Philosophy, and has studied at Yale and Stanford! Now that's sexy!!